


the war ahead

by paraexorcist



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, it is . Very sappy and gross, sylvain is probably more soft than he rly is in canon but shhhhhh, this is a birthday fic for my boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23387050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paraexorcist/pseuds/paraexorcist
Summary: He doesn't know if it's the night's failed date, or the pressure he feels to somehow protect all of his friends finally getting to him, or something else, but Sylvain barely tries to stop himself from telling the truth for once. “No amount of training will change our fate, Fe.”Felix is quiet for a moment. “And what fate is that?”
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	the war ahead

Sylvain has always loved Felix.

He wishes he could say that one day, everything clicked, and he became suddenly aware that his feelings for his best friend were more than platonic, but the truth is, he’s always known. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sylvain has always known that he is, and always will be, in love with Felix. 

And damn if that doesn’t hurt. 

As sure as he is that he loves Felix, Sylvain knows that nothing could ever happen between them. There are too many factors going against them; Sylvain’s family, for one, the expectation that the both of them should marry noble women and have children, two, and the very real possibility that Felix is straight.

Sure, he’s never shown even the slightest interest in women, but he’s never shown any interest in anyone for as long as Sylvain has known him. There’s no reason to believe Felix is anything other than straight. Not that it would matter if he wasn’t, Sylvain has to remind himself often. _There’s no way he would reciprocate my feelings; he barely tolerates me as is._

When Sylvain came out as bi during their first year at Garreg Mach, there was a lot of talk about it within the student body. A lot of disbelief, since he had never really been seen flirting with other guys, and a lot of speculation as to how his relationship with Felix should be labeled now. Sylvain sort of expected Felix to freak out about the latter bit, raising his voice and threatening anyone who even so much as implied him and Sylvain were anything more than acquaintances, but he didn’t. Whenever the two were together, and they overheard passersby make a hushed comment about how close they were sitting or how they looked at each other, Felix would simply huff and inch every so slightly away from Sylvain, and that was the extent of his reaction. Nothing was ever said between them, and neither ever brought it up.

Now that it’s been a few years since Sylvain came out, and the fact that everyone really has much bigger issues — the war against Edelgard, for one — his sexuality is a long finished discussion, and the topic is never really brought up anymore. Every once in a while, a girl Sylvain takes out inquires about it, but he tends to brush it off and act like it doesn’t bother him that everyone he’s interested in has to question his bisexuality. 

There are many things Sylvain hates about himself. Most often on his mind, though, is that he can’t seem to stop trying to date every girl in the monestary. He knows he loves Felix, and that will never change, but as much as he tells himself otherwise, he just can’t develop the same serious feelings for any girl. And yet he doesn’t stop trying, and he doesn’t know why.

He’s been overcompensating a lot lately, he knows. More dates with random girls than usual, all of them ending terribly, some of them even warranting a slap across the face. Just as Sylvain knows he has always loved Felix in the back of his mind, he also knows this degree of overcompensation is due to his extremely high level of stress as of late. The war is progressing, and despite having Professor Byleth back, things aren’t looking great, and he’s terrified of anything happening to his friends or, Goddess forbid, Felix.

With this extreme amount of dates comes more excuses to avoid Felix, which means maybe it will hurt a little less if something happens to him. (Sylvain knows nothing in his life would hurt more.) 

So, it’s to Sylvain’s dismay when he runs into Felix as he’s walking back to his room from yet another date that ended badly; this time, he mixed up the girl’s name with a different girl he had gone out with a few nights prior… needless to say, he still felt the sting of her hand on his cheek against the slight breeze of the night air.

“Ah, Felix!” Sylvain puts on his best act-like-everything-is-okay smile, and quietly walks over to the half wall separating Garreg Mach from the forest and villages below. He doesn’t have to look behind him to know Felix followed suit. “What are you doing out at this time of night, my friend?”

Felix huffs a little and stands with his arms crossed while Sylvain leans over the half wall. “Just got done training, like you should be doing,”

“Oh, come on,” Sylvain sighs and shakes his head. 

“What?”

He doesn't know if it's the night's failed date, or the pressure he feels to somehow protect all of his friends finally getting to him, or something else, but Sylvain barely tries to stop himself from telling the truth for once. “No amount of training will change our fate, Fe.” 

Felix is quiet for a moment. “And what fate is that?”

Sylvain looks at the love of his life and hates that he sees hope on his face. Hope that will most likely go to waste. 

“...Look,” Sylvain starts, then sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just—”

“No,” Felix interrupts, irritation evident in his face. “You did. What do you think is going to happen?”

Sylvain looks away, back out into the world beyond the monastery, if only to hide the prickling of tears threatening to spill. “I don’t know,” he admits. “That’s… what’s scary, Felix. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, or you, or anyone. I just wish none of this had ever happened.”

Felix leans his still crossed arms over the half wall and shifts close enough to Sylvain that their arms are touching. A few silent minutes pass, and Sylvain is grateful for the chance to successfully will his tears away.

“Do you really think we might not win?” 

Felix’s tone, soft and laced with concern, startles Sylvain. He looks over at him, but Felix continues looking beyond the walls.

“I, uh…” Sylvain falters. He’s not used to seeing his best friend like this — has he ever, actually? “I… really don’t know. To be honest, Fe, we might not.”

Felix nods ever so slightly before turning to lock eyes with Sylvain, a sudden determination in his eyes, but Sylvain wonders if he’s imagining the hint of nervousness he detects in his expression, too.

“Well, then… if we might die tomorrow, there’s no point in delaying this any longer,” Felix seems to be talking more to himself than to Sylvain, now, and Sylvain opens his mouth to ask what he means but gets cut off. “Sylvain. Can I kiss you?”

_Hang on. What?_

Sylvain blinks a few times, wondering if he really, truly just heard that correctly. He opens and closes his mouth a good four times, searching Felix’s face for some hint that he might be joking or - or _something_ , but he’s turning redder by the second and Sylvain thinks he might explode, so he answers his question the best way he can think of in the moment.

Sylvain gently cups Felix’s cheeks in his hands, and relishes in the sight of Felix closing his eyes before giving him a soft, delicate kiss.

Even amidst all of the chaos and war and uncertainty, for the first time in his life, Sylvain feels at home.

The kiss itself only lasts a few moments, but it feels like a lifetime. To his surprise, as soon as Sylvain pulls away, Felix grabs him and hugs him tight, burying his head in his chest. They stay there for a while, Sylvain’s chin resting on top of Felix’s head, giving him the occasional gentle back rub.

Finally, Felix releases Sylvain from his grip and takes a step back. His face is still red as he looks up at Sylvain, defiant an expression as ever.

“Just so you know, Sylvain,” he huffs. “I think you’re full of shit. There’s no way we’re going to lose.”

Sylvain laughs — a real, genuine laugh — and puts an arm around Felix, his heart swelling with affection and love. “We better not. You better not get hurt, especially now. Or was this just a scheme to make me feel even worse if you die?”

Felix elbows him in the stomach, but much gentler than usual. “No, you idiot.”

Sylvain smiles and kisses Felix on the top of his head. “Good.”

The two stand there for a while longer, Felix in Sylvain’s arms, absorbing the peace of the monastery late at night and electing to push the thought of war to the backs of their minds for once.

“See, I always knew you had a thing for me,” Sylvain grins, earning him a groan.

“Don’t start that,” Felix responds, but now, Sylvain can hear fondness in his voice, and wonders if it was always there.

“Imagine the talk around the monastery now,” Sylvain continues. “We’ll be the hot topic of gossip for the next year, considering how little actually happens now that almost everyone is gone. Felix Hugo Fraldarius, are you an attention whore?”

“Oh my god, shut _up_ ,” Felix replies, but he can't hide his smile as he complains.

Suddenly, Sylvain isn’t feeling as worried about the war ahead of them anymore.

Maybe he just needed someone to fight for.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, reese!!!!!! i hope you liked this lil baby fic! it's sappy as fuck but you said you liked hurt/comfort so This is what you get. i hope you have a really nice birthday, my love <3


End file.
